Friday, May 29, 2009

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BROOKE, MY FIRST BORN

Exactly 22 years ago, a precious baby girl, Tiffany Brooke was born into the world. She weighed 8 lbs., 6 ozs. and was 20 3/4 inches long. She looked so much like her Daddy it was almost scarry. It was like I was looking at a baby Randy. I had been been waiting for this day for so long.......

As far back as I can remember, I have always wanted to be a Mommy. In my Senior year of high school, as everyone else was taking about "where" they were going to go to college, and "what they wanted to be" I would remain silent from fear of being thought of as crazy or something. All I ever wanted to be was a Mom. I played with dolls until I was too old to be playing with them. I would offer to babysit for free. I LOVED babies. I would dream of the little girl I would have one day. I named her when I was just a child myself. Her name would be Tiffany Brooke. In my dreams she always had light brown hair and curls. I never had one with light brown hair but Brooke did have the curls. I absolutely could not wait until I had a baby of my own.

Just as I knew it would be tragic for a man to be a husband when he's not ready to be a husband....I knew it would be just as tragic for a man to be a Daddy when he's not ready to be one. I was ready to have a baby the moment we got married. However, Randy was not ready to be a Daddy. So I never pushed him....I never nagged...I never said a word about it. I wanted him to be ready in his own time. After we had been married for 2 years, I heard the words I had been waiting all my life to hear, "I'm ready to have a baby." I grabbed him so quick.....I didn't want him to change his mind - ha!! Well, I thought when you were ready to have a baby, you just have one. It's that simple. I couldn't wait until the next month to find out I was pregnant. It didn't happen. It didn't happen the next month, or the next month or the next month. A year went by, and I still wasn't pregnant. I just could not understand why God was punishing me like this. All my life I had been waiting to have a baby. I wasn't asking for a bad thing - but a good thing. Why would this not be His will for me to have a baby!!! As time went on....I got a little depressed. The silence in the house became louder. I wanted to hear the sound of little feet. I would feel my stomach and think I felt movement, At times I thought I was going kind of crazy. My heart goes out to all the women in the world who long for a baby but can't have one. That's a terrible place to be in. From the time we first starting trying, Brooke was born 2 years later. Looking back though, God's plan to wait was perfect. Don't ever think He doesn't know what He's doing. He wants what is best for us just like our earthly father does - but His desire to do what is best for us is so much more. God knew that I wanted to stay at home with my children. He knew I wanted the house with the white picket fence. Once Randy graduated from college and got a job, we got in credit card debt up to our eye balls. We were having fun with the money that we never had. If we had a baby when "I" wanted, I wouldn't have been able to quit work or afford a house. Once we decided to have a baby, we started getting ourselves out of debt and saving up money for a house. It took those 2 years of wanting a baby and not being able to conceive to pay off those credit cards and do you know that right before Brooke was born I quit my job and we bought our first home? God's timing is perfect. It didn't have the white picket fence but it did have a fence. Our first home was beautiful and everything I had dreamed for. I had so much fun fixing up her room and getting ready for her arrival. We didn't find out what she would be but I was hoping and praying for a GIRL!!!! Once again, God gave me the desires of my heart. I had the most perfect little baby girl.

She really was the perfect baby. She was like a doll to me. She was so good. She hardly ever cried. She loved to eat and sleep - just like she does now - ha!!! I couldn't believe how wonderful having a baby was. It was BETTER than I imagined. I would change her clothes all the time and have fun dressing her up. I loved to show her off. I took her everywhere to just show her off. I was so proud of her. I made us a schedule and we did it every day. We had school...we had church....we had play time....we had nap time....I love those schedules!!! We did everything together. She was such a smart little girl. I would always tell her how smart she was and she would go around saying, "I fart." Her "s's" would come out like "f's". She was just the cutest thing.

I'm fixing to tell you something that I have never told anyone before. When Brooke was 6 months old, I was in our living room rocking her in my lap. I never rocked her to sleep, but I was just rocking her while she was wide awake..enjoying her. God spoke to me. It was so loud and clear as if He was sitting right next to me. He told me that He was going to use Brooke in a very special way. It was so clear it kind of scared me. I didn't tell anyone because I thought most people would say, "Yea, every mom thinks that about her child." So like Mary, I just kept this in my heart. But as I think about Brooke's life, I can share this now - because God has already used her in a very special way. His words have come to pass. Since she was 5 years old she has had a strong desire to be a missionary in China. She loved for me to tell her stories about Hudson Taylor who was a missionary in China. Her dream came true and she did get to go to China one summer as a missionary. She taught English as a 2nd language in the schools there. As you know China can only have one child per family. She told the class one day about her family. She started drawing stick figures of her siblings. First she drew one figure of Paige. Mouths started dropping when she drew a 2nd stick figure of Aaron. 2 siblings is unheard of. She drew another stick figure, then another, then another. They just kept coming. She was able to share with them that it is a blessing to have many children. Children are a gift from God. Not only did she go to China, but she has been to Ecuador many years. I'm not sure how many - maybe 8 or so? She even spent an entire summer there one year. She travelled all over teaching young girls about "Purity". Ecuador is a very immoral country - much worse than America. Not only was she able to speak about Purity but she was a living example. She saved her very first kiss when she became engaged to Chad. What a testimony to save yourself for your husband!!! She has touched so many lives and been such a witness and example to others. Yes, I can honestly say that God HAS already used her in a very special way.

When I was a child and picked out her name, I had no idea what it meant. I just fell in love with the name and knew that was what I was going to name my baby girl one day. I have now learned that the name Tiffany means Godliness. Brooke means Peaceful Dweller or Giver of Love. Names are so important and God knows us by name long before we are even born. Brooke has always been very strong in her faith and not ashamed to let people know what she thinks. She is very much like her Daddy in this way. She has shown God's love "to the ends of the earth." God knew the perfect name for her. My prayer for you Brooke, is that you will continue to be an example of God's love and share your faith with others. I know He is still going to use you in a very special way.

You are very special to me and I am so thankful that you have been my daughter for 22 years. Every day is a gift and I'm thankful that God has given me 22 years of being your mother. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BROOKE!!!!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

HAPPY 26TH ANNIVERSARY TO MY PRINCE CHARMING

Today I get to celebrate our 26th anniversary with my Prince Charming. At first I thought he was my frong so I thought you would be interested in how it all began.

My first impression: When I first started High School as a freshman ( I was 14 years old) I was eating my lunch in the cafeteria way in the back of the room. I saw a boy come through the lunch line clear across the room that had the whitest hair I had ever seen. His bangs were hanging down in his eyes. I thought to myself, "That is one ugly boy."

His first impression: At the time I was "in love" with a boy named Randall White. He was the tallest, biggest, strongest, boy in the 9th grade. He was a football player!!! Every day during 5th period I would walk by his study hall class where he sat right in front of the door on the front row. The door would always be open. I would walk by....smile real big....bat my eyelashes....and wave at him with that little flirty hello like us girls do you know!!! Little did I know that that ugly blonde headed boy sat behind him thinking, "I'm going to marry that girl one day" as I walked by the room every day.

As time went on, me and Randall broke up. Shortly after I started liking another boy named Jerome Ray. He had all sorts of family problems and ended up living with his best friend. Jerome would always talk about his best friend. How wonderful he was and he wanted me to meet him. One day during lunch, Jerome came and got me and said that his best friend was in the lunch line and he wanted me to meet him. It was that ugly blonde headed boy!!!! Well, to make the story shorter, as time went on I got to know that ugly blonde headed boy very well - his name was Randy White. Jerome didn't have a car so Randy would have to drive him every where which meant he would take him to my house. Randy would just sit in the car wishing that it was him with me and not Jerome. The more I got to know Randy, I started "liking" him. He was so much fun to be around, everyone liked him, and he was a great person to talk too. He wasn't ugly to me anymore. I started falling in love with him. Eventually, Jerome and I broke up and it also ended a very good friendship between Randy and Jerome.

We were the best of friends. We did everything together. He was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. We dated all through high school. In my Junior year, my family moved to Texas. I was leaving the love of my live and my heart was broken. We continued to talk to each other by phone and we wrote letters to each other. My parents let me get on a plane and fly down for his Junior Prom. The next year he got on a plane and flew down to my Senior Prom.

After we both graduated from High School, we wanted to be together. My parents told me I could not move back to Mississippi unless we had plans on getting married. So Randy proposed to me, gave me a beautiful ring, and I moved to Mississippi. I didn't have a car, a place to live, or a job. But I found a job....a ride to work....and lived with another girl in an apartment. I was so happy that we were finally together. Everything was all wonderful at first until he started to slowly change. He would much rather be with his "buds" partying and having a good time than be with me. He was a wild little thing!!!! As much as I loved him, I knew this wasn't the kind of guy I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and he couldn't be the kind of husband that I wanted. So I broke up with him and gave him the ring back. I was really hoping that he would see that he was wrong, ask for forgiveness, and tell me he would change. But he didn't. He said that I was right and it was best that I move back to Texas. Ah....that crushed me!!!! My parents came to get me and helped pack me up and I moved back to Texas.

I was determined to get Randy out of my thoughts and my life. I got my old job back....moved into an apartment....and bought me a fancy sports car. It was a yellow convertible Triumph Spitfire. Oh....I LOVED that car!!! Everything was going fine until about 5 months later I received a phone call at my work from Randy. He apologized and told me how he had changed. He wanted to see me again. I told him "NO!!" Several days went by and I couldn't quit thinking about him. I realized that I did still love him and I would give him a second chance. So I called him and told him he could come see me. He was right. He had changed. We kept in touch through phone calls and letters again and got to know each other all over again. He was living with a rowdy group of guys in college and he moved out and lived with a widowed elderly lady. He concentrated on his studies and removed all the negative influences that were in his life. Eventually, we got engaged for the 2nd time but this time it was for good. My Prince Charming had turned into the kind of man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

We got married in the summer between his Junior and Senior year of college. He was going to USM in Hattiesburg. We moved into the married dorms on the college campus. They were so tiny and made of concrete block walls. I bought our furniture from a garage sale. The springs were sticking up and it was so uncomfortable. But at the time, I thought we lived in the most beautiful place in the world. It was my home and I was living with my Prinice Charming. We didn't have any money and living off love!!!

Here we are 26 years later with 7 children, and he is still my Prince Charming. Don't get me wrong, he can still be a frog at times but I learned that when I said "I do" and "until death do us part' that is exactly what I meant. Being married to somebody is probably the hardest thing a person will ever do. It takes a lot of give and take, a lot of sacraficing, a lot of forgiving, a lot of putting yourself last, and a lot and lot of commitment.

So here is to you - My Prince Charming - Happy Anniversary!!!

Sunday, May 10, 2009

A TRIBUTE TO MY GRANDMOTHER ON MOTHER'S DAY

This is a tribute to my grandmother, Frances Lorene Page, who passed away last week on May 5th, 2009. She died at the age of 99. She would have been 100 on September 5, 2009. I wish all of you could have known her like I did because your life would have been touched and possibly changed because of her. If you want to know what she was like, just open your Bible to Proverbs 31 and that is my grandmother. She was all of this and more. She was an amazing woman.

I have such fond memories of going to her house as a child. She had the neatest back yard. We called it the "jungle". We would almost get lost out there and just play for hours. We would use our imaginations and get lost into our own little different world out there. She was so sweet and loving and loved her grandchildren. She was the best cook ever. She made everything from scratch and just had that special grandmother touch that went into all of her food which made it taste even better if that is even possible.

As a teenager, she was the one person I felt comfortable talking to about all my teenager problems. She was so full of good advice and was never condeming. She understood all my feelings and would always say, "I will pray for you, Jolyne." And you know what? I knew she really would. She would even write me letters. They were so precious to me. She would always end them with, "You know Granny is praying for you."

As a young married woman who was wanting LOTS of children, she was the one person I looked up too. She had 6 children of her own and I KNEW she was a good mother because the "proof is in the pudding." She raised 6 children who are hard working, full of good character, and wonderful Christian people who I wanted my children to be like. I was so interested in how she raised all those kids and I wanted to know her secret. I would sit and listen to everything she had to say. Her main advice to me was to get those babies on a schedule. You need to have a routine with them every day, she would say. She would go through her whole day and tell me what she did every day with those babies. So you know what? That's what I did!!! It must have worked because I had 7 of the best babies you can imagine. She had plenty more practice too because she took care of babies in her church's daycare for many, many years.

My grandmother was so prim and proper. She was so pretty and never had a hair out of place. She wore make up (even in her 90's), and she had the prettiest jewelry which she wore all the time. She always smelled so good too. She was so soft and squishy. Even when she wore sweats, she was all dolled up with her makeup and jewelry. Her house was always so clean and organized. It always made me a little nervous when I would bring my young children to her house because I was afraid they would break something. I loved all of her furniture and all of her knick-knacks. . It was old looking but so pretty and feminine just like her. I loved everything in her house but most of all, I loved her!!

The one thing about my Grandmother that stands out more than anything else is her love relationship with the Lord. I have never met anyone like this before and I probably never will. You know how when you first fall in love with somebody, you just want to talk about them ALL the time? That's how my Grandmother was about Jesus. It was part of her normal conversation. She wasn't trying to impress...or be somebody she wasn't. It just flowed out of her. It was like Jesus was right by her side and she would just talk and talk about Him. I remember being at her house many times when she would really get to talking, and family members would silently sneak off. It's not that they didn't enjoy listening to her but she could carry on for hours!!! No joke!! I remember it was my Mother who usually was the last one sitting with her. But that just tells you how much she loved Jesus. He was everything to her. She couldn't wait to meet Him face to face. And now she is. I know she is loving every minute of it up there. When I picture her up there in heaven right now, it brings a smile to my face. I can see her dancing and singing. I can see her just worshipping and praising Jesus because she did that here on earth. I miss her so much but I know she is in the place she has talked about all her life and with the ONE she has longed to be with. She is with her Lord and Saviour! - the love of her life.